Re-Run: Making Friends As a Grown Woman by Brittany Soucy

We moved to a new place and even though it is only 10 minutes away from where we used to live before Costa Rica. I have found myself trying to be brave and make new friends all over again. So I pulled these posts to re-read and thought to myself, maybe everyone else would like to read them along again along with me! Enjoy! 

How to make friends as a grown woman

I have experienced something intriguing in the past five years or so. It is the social media friendship vs. the face-to-face friendship. I have discovered some interesting things that seem to be unspoken. The first is that time after time, women I have been drawn to online are even better in person. Maybe not exactly as I imagined, but real, and multifaceted and more well-rounded than their online presence. What a happy thing to learn!

The second thing I have witnessed is that what looks like a deep and abiding relationship in social media circles isn’t always an accurate portrayal. Connections are made with people and we have the desire to deepen that relationship. It is easier to compliment from a keyboard. It is easier to be engaging when we don’t have a live audience. I am not bringing this up to pop your bubble, but to encourage. As women we tend to compare ourselves and be hard on ourselves. We tend to wonder where we belong and can see these “private/public” online relationships and feel left out or have a hard time understanding where we fit in.

Well, I’m here to give you a pat on the back and tell you this: you are important, dear one.

Whether I am referring to online relationships or face to face relationships, I want to take all of our collective insecurities and bundle them up and take them to the curb for the trash man to pick up. I want clear the air of all the expectations and worries. It is no matter.

We all feel vulnerable. There are moments of deep insecurity and glorious moments when we shine from the inside out from knowing who we are. Some of us are quiet, while some of us can’t stop talking. Some of us need to be alone to refill our cup, and some feel like being alone is torture. Some of us have obvious talents and others have talents you dig for like hidden gems. Our likes and dislikes may look totally different, but we have something unseen that makes us kindred spirits. All of us are divine. Every one of us possesses beauty. Each one of us wants to feel loved and respected.

Here is my bottom line: We are all the same and yet completely individual.

Let us embrace that and each other. Let us compliment freely. Let us give each other the benefit of the doubt. Let us hold our judgments.

One of the strengths we have as women is that we are nurturing and we know how to give love. That is all it takes to be a friend. To try to make her day better. To build her up and magnify the beauty we see in her. If we have done this, we can’t help but be surrounded by friends.

Brittany Soucy blogs over at Whatever & Stuff and is a beautiful artist as well.

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