A Mother’s Book of Secrets Discussion Part 3 of 5

May 21st, 2012 in About Me, Learning

Like I said we are meeting here every Monday to discuss the book A Mother’s Book of Secrets by Linda Eyre & Shawni Eyre Pothier. Because I was in real need of a “Mothering Pick Me Up” and this is already helping me out quite a bit.

You really don’t have to be reading the book along with us to participate in the conversation, I am sure these are points that you already know tons about as a mother. So please join on in. I will start off with some of the points that stood out to me, quotes I loved, things I need to work on, and goals I have made.

Section 3 Key Points:

It is a disservice to kids to just continually give then what they want. Say no and hold firm. They can learn delayed gratification, we value things we have to work and wait for.
There is a lot of room for YES! To little important day to day things.
When you want change it’s YOU that has to change first.
Great exercise to figure out how to respond to irritation and aggravating behavior. First you write down the thing that drives you crazy, then leave two blank spaces next to it. In the first one, write how you react when that bothering behavior occurs. In the next spot, analyze how you can react differently to that annoyance. Ex. My Annoyance: Children Whining, My Reaction: Snapping, getting mad inside, My New Reaction (after analyzing): Give them a secret sign to stop (decide with them what it should be), then walk away if they are still talking in the whiny voice. Hopefully they will learn from that, that I will not have a conversation when they are talking whiny, and that the “secret sign” will remind them and make them smile. For me this will hopefully make it so I snap a lot less.
WHATEVER! Pick your battles, if the important stuff is intact, all is well.
“Most days I’m flying by the seat of my pants, but each day that I really put my heart into it I think I come a little closer to being the mom I want to be. I want to be the best kind of mom *I* can be. The secret isn’t to try to be the best mom I see in so many others. it’s to analyze what my own strengths are, to build on them, and to apply what I know to my parenting. That way I become my own kind of “best mom.” And that’s what my kids need me to be.” Didn’t you love that part?!
My husband needs to be my #1 priority. Analyze how you can make the relationship better, more consistent, remember to date each other, make sure he feels like he is your #1 (and vice versa). List 3 things that you want from your spouse, have him do the same, and switch papers.
What are my passions? How can I work towards them?
My attitude will change the outcome of a whole day. My attitude will change the outcome of my family. My attitude will change my children’s lives. My attitude will make my children who they are. My attitude will determine my future. My attitude will mold my marriage. I can control my attitude no matter what. I MUST HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE FOR MY FAMILY.

Goals: Be good at saying NO and also be good at saying YES. Yes to painting fingernails, yes to tucking in, yes to listening to them talk. Think through my days and think about the downs in my days, go through that “excercise” so I can analyze my reactions and how to fix them. Work on being a better wife, do the 3 things exercise with my husband, figure out how to do date nights in Costa Rica. Figure out how I can work towards something that is a passion of mine…with at the same time having two babies. WATCH MY ATTITUDE, REALIZE THE SEVERE IMPORTANCE OF IT.