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Wednesday: Mid Week Ramblings—Guilt
Going through a hard time with one of my girls and feeling guilty. Guilt…motherhood…started the first minute my daughter was born. Oh no, should I have gotten that epidural? Is it really as unsafe as everyone said? After 3 1/2 hours of pushing she finally came out. She must feel terrified; I feel horrible. My heart racing…she is not breathing right…part of it because she was overdue…should I have listened to all the advice thrown my way to be induced early? Bringing her home…having to drag her along to my nanny jobs when she was only a couple weeks old…wishing I didn’t have to worry about earning money.
Three years later, totally different life and feeling guilty for a whole new reason. Baby Girl is not happy…a lot…done with all of her lab tests and going on to a specialist. Feeling guilty that I can’t console her…that for a large part of the day she is just not herself…wondering if I am feeding her something wrong or doing something to make her feel this way and don’t know what. Feeling guilty that sometimes during one of her outbursts I want to take her to Grandma’s and run away for a couple of days.
Thankfully enough these feelings come and go pretty quickly most of the time and I can see the joys of being a mother….guilt and all.
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This is my kind of post! Love the pics! You are an awesome mommy, and one I look up to! Hugs!
What a sweet post. We all feel guilty about something sometime…usually more often than not…it’s par for the course of motherhood, I think.
I’m sure you’re a wonderful mom.
But it’s not an easy job.
As Erin of It’s Your Movie recently said: it’s the hardest best job ever.
How honest. And real. I’m there almost every day.
It’s true, motherhood and guilt kind of go hand in hand. I think it’s just a sign of how important it is for us, and I even think a little bit of guilt is healthy in parenting. But it’s true that we guilt way too much. It’s hard to tell someone not to feel bad because they will probably do so anyways, but I would guess you are doing a great job parenting! Keep it up!
You are a great mommy! And you little girls are precious and adorable and thrilled to be your children!
Wow – this was so honest and real, and I’m very glad you shared it because we all feel this way sometimes and the worst part is wondering if you’re all alone in it. That’s why I love blogging – it helps me remember that what we do as mothers is excruciating and beautiful and so very important. And we are never alone in our struggles.
So hang in there, when the guilt gets you down. You have an awesome network of friends, readers, fellow mothers that know how amazing you are.
It is difficult not to be able to help those we love. But remember to help yourself too. You need to take care of you to have the energy and the mental stability to take care of your sweet family. I believe every mother at some time wants to run away and hide. Maybe you should. Take a day or even a few hours and do stuff that helps you heal. You will come back a stronger and happier mother. Try it.
[...] over at I Never Grew Up Vanessa wrote about feeling guilt as a mother. After this week full of advice, hopefully some of us will want to try harder. Even so, [...]