Tips of Snapping Out of ‘Zombie Mom with Young Ones’ State

November 24th, 2013 in tomy4girls

Dear 4 Baby Dolls,

Sometimes when you are a young mom you will slip into a zombie state. Where you feel like you only live to do the same things over and over again. You realize sadly that you could easily be replaced with a more efficient robot version of yourself. You go back and forth to the school 4 times a day, drop kids off to their after school classes, and do all the essential errands. You clean the same sections of the house 3 times a day and they are still always a mess. When you add up the time you spend preparing meals, feeding them to people, and somewhat cleaning up after them you’ll be amazed. But when in young zombie mom form you won’t be amazed, it will kind of annoy you.

You won’t always feel like this as a young mom. You will just have *TIMES* when you do. Here is how I have snapped myself out of zombie state after a few days:

  • Look up, look around, and find someone to help. Pray for inspiration, look outside your zombie state, and you’ll find a long list of people. Guess what? You’ll only be able to help in small ways most of the time, because those little ones keep you busy. Does the mom next door who has been looking tired lately need to be told she is doing a wonderful job and be given a cupcake? Do it. That lady you saw that looked sad in the hallway at church? Find out her name and go over to introduce yourself, she needs a friend. The older woman you see who is so sweet to her husband that is looking frailer by the day. Go over there and give her a hug, tell her you’ve been thinking about her. Please note that none of these examples include social media or the use of a cell phone. You need to be talking to people in person  more my loves.
  • Get down and look in your sweet children’s eyes. Do you see the way they look at you when you smile? No I mean really look right into their eyes, see it? You’re important Mom. Sit down and read them a book and be really into it. Lie on your belly and play their favorite thing with them. Put them right up next to you and talk about what they want to talk about. Wait, that kitchen is a mess in the other room? Guess what, it is going to be a mess over and over again today. Leave it be, and play some. No, your phone can’t tag along on your 5 minute very important playdate, leave it in the other room.
  • Speaking of phones, unattach yourself a bit. Listen, talking to other moms on Facebook and Instagram helps me throughout the day. Little conversations about things you enjoy, checking in on people. I like it too. But spending too much time gives you an empty feeling, which doesn’t help with young mom zombie state. You know yourself, just decide on what is the right amount of time for you. And don’t care what everyone else thinks or says about it.
  • Find beauty and take a second to soak it in. Wasn’t that sunset beautiful on the way home from a long day of school and activities? Pull over, sit on your hood for 30 seconds and just look at it. What do you say? The kids are all screaming even louder? They’ll be fine, jump back in the car and show them too! Sure, it is bedtime and you’ve had a long day. But maybe you could throw everyone into the stroller, bring a bag of pretzels, and find all the flowers on the street. Look at all the detail in them, show your kids. Didn’t God make really beautiful things? My two examples or things are outside on purpose, because you need to be outside more. You need to just be outside, being still, MORE.
  • Stick to the budget. Zombie moms often want to mindlessly spend money at Target. What is it that does this? Who knows, but it is just going to push you deeper in. No one in the house needs more of anything. And messing up your budget is just going to make you feel gross later. Also turn off the Amazon 1 Click option on your phone while you are at it too.
  • Can you get out of the house? GO! Your church is having a night where ladies get together? Yes, get yourself there. Sure maybe lying in your bed sounds better because boy oh boy were the kids hard today. But talking to other women and feeling like a grown up will do your mind even better. You need friends that will meet you in a bookstore with kid snot and kid dinner smeared on your shirt and it will be fine. Sit and talk to them, you don’t need to spend money if you don’t want to.
  • Oh yeah, that guy you married, hang out with that one too. Most (most) date nights I end up looking at your dad and thinking, “Man I DO really like you.” Maybe you have a long list of excuses for not going on date night. No money, no sitter, can’t think of anything to do, maybe even you are getting on each other’s nerves, etc. Maybe they are real reasons, but maybe they really are excuses. Just figure things out and go, it’ll be good for you Zombie mom. Love your husband more, show you love your husband more I should say. Husbands need more credit and love. Remember, some of those date nights need to be temple nights. Even if you don’t think you could handle anything more than mindlessly watching a movie. Go my loves, GO.
  • Be healthy. I still need to figure out how to like exercise, I’m having a hard time with this. Hopefully you four loves don’t have as hard of a time as me. Hopefully you find you like to hike, or walk, or do yoga, or play volleyball. Eat well, drink water. Stay away from anything that messes with your system; caffeine (yes even in soda, be careful with excess caffeine), too much sugar, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, lots of meat. You know what being healthy means for your body, just do it. We need strong bodies to do our jobs as moms. Note that I didn’t say THIN bodies sweethearts, healthy and strong bodies. Which some years will have a baby in them, some years will be soft from just having a baby and needing to focus on nourishing a baby. A woman’s body is every changing for what it needs to be doing. Please don’t let that get you down, relish in how miraculous that body of yours is.
  • Keep your mind fresh. Study a subject here or there, try a new hobby, work on a hobby you already love, study something in the gospel you have always wanted to understand better. Stop focusing on how you can’t spend very much time on things. Yes, you will  be interrupted 5 to 5 million times in one hour.  Be calm and just enjoy what you are working on and studying in the moment, however short it may be!
  • Get down on your knees and pray. Ask for the Holy Ghost to help you see the beauty in motherhood, ask for what you need. Then be living your life the right way so He can show you. Make time for Him to quietly speak to you. Make sure after you ask that you actually make time to be still and listen. You know what He tells me? That you four girls need a WARM & LOVING mother. That is what He told me in the beginning and what I am reminded of over and over. Don’t wallow in zombie state, and get to work my loves.
I refer to Zombie State is when I have a few days of feeling blahish and unimportant, maybe a few tears, and not feeling like myself. Now if you are feeling like this for longer, if you are having feelings of deep sadness. Well then my loves, you need to go get yourself help. Just like if you had a bad cold that wouldn’t go away and it has turned into something deeper. Take care of yourself, you have an important work to do!
Most importantly my four baby dolls, remember you have generations of women behind you. If we could even see a sliver of how much support we have on earth and on the other side we would be floored. You have generations of women in heaven that support you in many ways as a mother. You have angels around you and your sweet children. You, my four loves, have a Heavenly Mother. She has a role in our lives that you will gain glimpses of throughout your life. Holy onto those and not to worry, we will understand all that She is in the heavens. Teach your sweet children about her. We will meet Her, along with our older brother Jesus, our Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost one day not too far off. Then we will understand what we had while here on the Earth, but please gain strength from it now. You have people here on the Earth that you can take support from; visiting teachers, Relief Society presidents, your mother, each other, cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc. Stand up tall and realize that you have angels all around you to help you with this most sacred work. We are raising the very last of the warriors, mothers are the ones who do this most important work. We have to raise the very strongest ones, and what you do is the most important. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER, carry on my loves. Carry on, and be proud of who you are.


P.S. Daily dance parties with your children are a must, if you aren’t doing those, tsk to the tsk 

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