Third Trimester

You know you are in your third trimester when…

• You sit with a heating pad on your back at all times
• The number of maternity shirts that fit you are dwindling and the ones you couldn’t IMAGINE fitting you….DO
• When you bend over you feel yourself squishing the baby’s head and you pray that the kid is going to come out looking ok.
• It is quite visible to people on the outside when your baby gives you a hard kick or punch…’cause your whole belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly!
• You ingest 8-9 cups of crushed ice daily
• When skinny, pregnant people complain about how “oh my gosh” FAT they look you just want to get up and leave the room
• At doctor’s appointments you are a complete pro, bringing little kids with you every time, peeing into that sample cup and getting yourself ready to hear the heartbeat without even batting an eyelash or having anyone ask you to
• You are wondering if you should be allowed into public because of recent…ahem…blow ups…that may or may not involve getting mad at a woman bossing your child around at the Dinosaur Museum or a man blocking your car in late at night after karate
• Late at night you have the same conversation with your husband: you are trying to get comfortable and then you throw everything off the bed, onto the ground and sit up…”What, what’s wrong?” he asks you. “I just am wondering why in the world I did this…” gesturing to your belly “…this to myself. Why? Why did I go and do this to myself?” and your good husband just says nothing and you lie back down….falling asleep at 9pm. 9pm. Senior Citizen time all the way.

Actually, I have one more week until I am officially in the 3rd trimester…can I maybe say the more pregnancies you have, the sooner you feel like you move into the next stage? Can that be my excuse?

Good. ‘Cause it is.

Tags: third trimester

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