The Great Divide: Life with four kids ages 11 to 1
Today’s guest post is by Emily Hill. By day she is the mother of four children; by night (okay, and day too) she is the co-owner of georgie tees and a contributing writer for Boutique Cafe, Polliwogged and her company’s blog, freshly baked.
A little background first. After our two girls were five and three years of age we found ourselves in a pretty sweet place. They slept through the night, entertained themselves and attended school part time Yes, we were experiencing a really nice stage of life and it was only getting better.
I was done birthing children, or so I thought. I didn’t envy pregnant women and I wasn’t baby hungry. Then somehow, somewhere, something changed. I things it was a combination of wanting a little boy and wanting lots of grandchildren and having more kids improves the odds. Whatever my thinking, soon after my oldest turned seven and youngest turned five I gave birth to a little boy (see photo at right). And because having a second child for the sole purpose of entertaining our first worked out so well, we tried it again! When our fourth child was born my girls were nine and seven. It was a lot like having a first and second all over again…except I was nine years older and life was a lot crazier!
When people ask me about the age difference I tell them it totally works for me, but it definitely has its drawbacks. For this post I decided to channel my dad and lay out the advantages and disadvantages of our great divide in two columns. I’m not saying this is the best way to plan your family, but hey, if this approach to decision making is good enough for Stephen Covey, it’s good enough for me!
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| Advantages An older child
Older children come in handy on road trips. Just sit one next to one of your younger children. (This is also a great way to keep your two oldest from fighting in the backseat.) Older children make it easier to participate in adult conversation at family parties since they can help take shifts watching their younger counterparts. One word: shower. Two words: sleeping in. Seven words: An extra cart at the grocery store. For some reason no one makes a baby laugh like her older brother or sister. Believe me, we’ve tried. Watching a three-year-old brother pick on his nine-year-old sister? Pure entertainment. Watching an eleven-year-old sister care for her one-year-old sister? Priceless. |
Disadvantages Chances are your oldest child will quickly become tired of babysitting so you’ll have to creatively bribe encourage them.For some family activities you’ll have to divide and conquer. While older ones go to the movies younger ones hit the local McDonald’s PlayPlace (and mom hits the Diet Coke).Attending and older child’s sporting event or dance class with little ones in tow becomes a spectator sport in and of itself—and a nightmare for those participating.Your youngest may be only eight when your oldest goes off to college.* * My sister was only nine when I left for school. She was devastated.Perhaps the biggest disadvantage is it will be a while before those far-distanced siblings become true friends. * I was probably 27 and my sister 18 before she started becoming more my friend than my little sister. |
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So according to my columns above, the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages. But while it looks good on paper, what do I really think of our family’s great divide? Well, taking the good with the bad and sometimes the ugly (have you seen a mother of four drive carpool in her PJs?), I absolutely love the geography of our family and wouldn’t have it any other way. Looking at our 2008 Christmas card photo below, would you?
P.S. I don’t think my sister would either…
What a lovely family! I come from a family of 4 kids. My oldest brother was 8 years older then me and he treated me like a princess. He was very mature his whole life and always took care of me. I loved having a brother so much older then me. One day after he had married and moved out of the house I was walking to a friends house when he saw me and gave me a ride. He asked me a question and I said yes sir to him. He told me quickly not to say sir to him! But he was 19 at the time and I was 11. To me he was an adult. Sadly I lost my brother when I was 16. It was the greatest heartbreak of my life. He was one very special person.
Have a Blessed Day,
Diane
My son was 8 when I had my daughter who is now about to be 2. I enjoy the advantages of having them so far apart. It can be hard to come up with activities that they both will enjoy together.
I am the youngest of 6 children. My oldest sister was 17 when I was born. I have to say that my sisters have acted as a mother, sister, and now best friends.
ha love this part Seven words: An extra cart at the grocery store.
Diane, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sure he meant the world to you! Though I have never experienced the loss of a sibling or immediate family member I’m sure it was an extremely difficult time. My heart goes out to you!
And Sarah, you’re right! Finding activities everyone can do together gets a bit tricky. Fortunately my oldest two are still young enough to enjoy the park and a good playground, so that’s one everyone enjoys!
I love this! My kids are 4 and 1 right now, and I’m thinking, “I’m not done, am I? But this is starting to get easy!”
Thanks for your honesty!
Loved this, because Savannah will most likely be turning 6 or already 6 by the time baby #2 comes. I will like it, because I dont know any different, right?
I have the privilege of witnessing, first-hand, the way you handle your family. Like everything you do . . . you make it look easy! The real reason you have an extra shopping cart? You’re always picking up my groceries, too! Keep up the good work!
You have a beautiful fam. Emily! Each family has to find their own music! I have several friends who have chosen to have a bit of a gap and it works lovely for them. Its a bit less of a headache when you go to the park…….
Thank you, Amber! Yes, it does make park outings a bit easier for sure!
You have a beautiful family, Emily. This was a very timely post. My husband and I have been discussing whether or not we want to have more kids or be “done.” It’s a tough decision. We have two sweet little girls to love right now and I think I’m satisfied with that, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like with one more…
Thank you, Stephanie! It’s a big decision to make and not an easy one for sure. I wish you the best of luck!
Emily, Great post! I totally know where you’re coming from, my four are ages 16,12,5,and 3. Yes, deciding to have two more was like starting over again in some ways, only I’m a lot older and much more tired. The older siblings can be helpful, although sometimes they are bigger pains than the younger ones! Diane, I too am so sorry for your loss. I was 16 as well when I lost my brother, he was only 7. I still miss him to this day, all the things we never got to do. I have step-siblings but we’re not close, so I feel like an only child. That’s why I wanted to have kind of a big family, (four is considered big now a days, isn’t it?) so my kids can know what it’s like to have siblings and be close, to experience something I feel like I lost out on. Oh, and Emily,if you think watching a three-year-old brother pick on his nine-year-old sister is pure entertainment, then you’d love to see a three-year-old sister pick on her sixteen-year-old brother, priceless!
Kimi, I am totally ROTFL about that last part! I would LOVE to see a 3YO pick on her 16YO brother!
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