love of local in Utah
~Review of Confessions of a Slacker Mom & My Insecurities~
Why I am glad I read this book?
It gave me the justification and reasons to just chill out as a mother, for which I have to give myself a bit of props. I think I have come a long way but this book opened my eyes a bit more.
The author urges you to trust YOURSELF as a parent and teaches great points to raise confident and healthy ADULTS. I believe this book is a must-read for all mothers and is exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life.
One thing, though…reading this book and “interpreting” her tone and opinions as being critical in some parts of the book (which I am almost sure is all me, not her) brought out a huge insecurity of mine
Being a Young Stay-At-Home Mother
In other words, not going after a career and getting married and having children at a young age. You would think by knowing my decisions were the right ones for me I would feel 100% confident, yet I hate dealing with the insecurity I feel when other women bring up the silliness they see in having children young, getting married “as a baby” and not pursing “your dreams.” Or that in five or ten more years I will realize I wasted away a critical time of my life.
Sometimes I feel inadequate compared to other women because my dream was to raise children when it was right for me, in my early twenties. I almost feel embarrassed my true happiness comes from playing silly games, running around in sprinklers and reading books under the clouds all day long with the girls. I wonder if that makes me less intelligent or maybe even….lazy compared to other women or that I am being a horrible example to them in not spending a large part of my time focused on myself and my dreams.
And then other times I feel completely sure and proud of myself. I listened to my heart and knew two little babies were waiting to be my daughters. I am glad I listened and need to just let my insecurities float away. I cherish the times I can see my life so crystal clear, when I can feel proud of the decisions I have made. I try to hold onto those when I am feeling insecure.
Why is that so hard to do? I am sure my life will evolve and change. As I “grow up” I feel it starting to a bit…but boy, am I glad my babies and husband are along for the ride.
Tags: motherhood, reading
I love that book. I read it way before I had kids, and I still follow a lot of it.
Being a mother is the hardest job that there is…and it requires intelligence, compassion, patience, and so much more. I think it’s wonderful that you love motherhood so fully.
I had never heard of the book — I’ll look for it now.
I feel the same things sometimes, but I am luck to have a family around me that supports my decision. Although, I still feel like I squandered my degree or the experiences of being in a job I love.
But here is the thing: I get to really enjoy being a mom. I will still be full of energy when they are teenagers. And if I want, I will be able to go into the workforce with a maturity to make my own way. Motherhood can be a tough, but I’m glad I choose the job that not only makes me feel great, but also raises little people to be great as well.
I was just thinking this week that the one piece of advice I will give my children when they are grown is: Life will not be what you planned. It will surprise you. It will be even better than anything you could have imagined.
The same goes for being a mom. Enjoy it.
I think being a yound SAHM is a good thing. As Mandy said, we’ll still be full of energy when the teen years hit. We’re really not throwing away any chances. I’m lucky enough to know some older moms who had children young. One is in her forties. She told me about this great white water rafting trip she was able to take now that she has the time. She’s active and certainly isn’t “old” by any means.
Spend your time the way you see fit. Just enjoy the moments.
I think staying at home for the “critital” time of your young children is super important. There is always time to go back to school and finish up, but there is never a turn back time in your childs early years.
I too am a young SAHM, and I was enjoying it immensely after my son was born. However just realized recently that I have not been enjoying the past two months after my daughter was born. I felt guilty and ashamed, but then I thought it’s just the mind numbing screams from her colic that were making me feel like a bad mother because I essentially had to tune her out to keep my sanity.
Now, I am realizing that there are good times even still and more to come later. When they are in their teens, I will still be young (before 40) and able to keep up much better with them. Sometimes it baffles me how other women wait until 35 to even think of having kids… just think they’ll be graduating high school and their moms will be 53!! Eeek! My mom was 36 when my older bro graduated, and 37 when I did. Now she is 42 and has 4 grandchildren and 3 step grandchildren. Even my two grandma’s are still around. That’s the kind of family I always wanted and now I have. Never feel ashamed to be who you are.
I’m actually envious of you, since I’m an “older” mother, having had my son last year at 33. While I’ve gotten to have a career and focus on myself for years, I am a bit sad that I won’t probably be around when my son turns 50. I’m glad I did it the way I did, as it was best for me and I’ve gotten a lot out of my “independent” years, but I also think what you’re doing is wonderful. There will be time for all that other stuff, once your kids are a little older. You seem like the kind of person who is curious about the world, so I can see you taking classes here and there, broadening your horizons.