Laura Lou, I Miss You

August 22nd, 2009 in family

My baby sister’s name is Laura Lou; my mother called her that when she was little and it stuck with me.

She has been gone on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for a few months and has quite a few months left. I felt very guilty when she left. I felt very selfish. I did not want her to leave us. I did want her to grow and knew this is what she needed to grow. At the same time I wanted to kidnap her and make her grow with us, but that is not what she needed.

Laura Lou is beautiful.

Laura Lou has a beautiful heart.

I miss her heart. It rubs your back when you are hugely pregnant, cries with you on the phone when your heart is sad, runs to you to help at the drop of a hat, never judges you, feels no need to boss, it doesn’t think of itself first.
But most of all, what astonishes me the most is the size of her heart. It never ends, it is never full, it never wares and it never closes.
Don’t we all wish we had a heart like this?
My girls miss her. My mother misses her. My baby brother too. But today I am really missing her.

When I said goodbye and knew I would not see her for a couple of years I broke down. In the car of course where she could not see. This was not a cry for others to see and hear. My sisters are my best friends and I am very attached. You see we moved…a lot…not really time to build strong lasting friendships. All that mattered was my two sisters at the end. Both very different in every way but just as beautiful and amazing.