I Felt Her Sitting There

February 9th, 2012 in About Me

I am head over heels in love with this little girl:

Picture taken with my phone

If you knew her, you would be too. She has these eyes that… Well, they remind me of the reflection pool in front of the Washington D.C. Temple. That is what they remind me of — bright blue pure reflection pools.

20 months ago a man in our ward stood up in Sacrament Meeting to bear his testimony. He talked about how he had learned that his life needed more peace and quiet so he could hear and feel promptings from the Holy Ghost. He said that he had started to turn the music off in his truck while driving to and from work just so he could be quiet to think or let thoughts come to him. I felt prompted to do the same, and boy oh boy, am I glad I listened.

I decided that my life needed more peace and quiet in its daily to-and-fro. So I decided to turn off emails on my phone — no more beeps all day from clients asking me to do new things, no more emails from readers and people asking for help with their blogs. There were all these messages I felt stacking up, and that I needed to get through and get done. I just turned it off.

And the first day I did this was the first day I felt baby Shae sitting there. I went to pick her up in the grocery cart in line to get some bread. I didn’t go to pick up Cameron or Abby by accident, thinking I had put one of them up in the cart. I went to pick up a baby I hadn’t met, and I felt her presence.

So only a couple weeks later we were pregnant with little baby Shae.

Baby Shae is my angel. I don’t know who I would be without her. Some days I feel other kids running around my house — I feel their presence, but they aren’t here yet. The feeling is warm and overwhelming all at the same time.

This experience has built up my testimony — learning that we can learn from each other at church, that we can help change each other’s lives for the good. That right now in my phase of life, bringing my little babies into the world is my top priority. That it is nothing to be ashamed of or feel belittled by. That bringing little babies to the earth to raise and love is the most important thing of all.


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