Homeschooling Update (aka: mom guilt part 5,789,321)
Let me preface this by saying that homeschooling moms, you are wonderful. Those of you that do it well (oh and there are so many of you) BRAVO. I believe your children are incredibly intelligent, well-adjusted, social, talented, and much more. Oh and so are you. I angers me that people stereotype homeschooling so awfully. It angers me that parents pass on their biased generalizations down to their children. And that your children can be hurt by it. You don’t deserve it. Homeschooling can be and is in lots of families just wonderful. And you need to go buy yourself a cupcake and foot the bill to me.
Tyler and I have gone back and forth with the idea of homeschooling for years. It is so funny because I would read one book that would sway me completely away from homeschooling. Then I would read another one that swung me the other way. I wanted to give school a shot too so I put Abby in kindergarten. Which wasn’t too painful because she was only gone a couple of hours a day. It was a great experience. But we still really wanted to try homeschooling in our home. We thought maybe it was an option our family could do and do for years. After homeschooling the girls for one full school year (like I promised with myself I would), I have come to a conclusion.
It is not so. And this is why it is not so *right now* with *us*. Now do you notice those stars around those certain words? And did you read my preface? Ok allow me to continue on… To put it all in a nutshell this is why I have discontinued homeschooling. I do not believe it is the best for our family dynamic. It does not make me a happy mother. It has ruined the other creative things I love to do as a mother (crafts, special projects, reading with them, fun snacks, parties, playdates, etc.). It is very hard with the two babies and I feel like they have been neglected. It isn’t good for my mother-daughter relationship with them. Even though I have tried…oh goodness the things I could list…to keep their days interactive, social, and full with other children. It has not gone as I would have liked it too. Homeschooling does not immerse us in the culture. I could only get the basics done and did not have time for being a fun teacher, which they deserve.
Here enters the mom guilt. I know my husband (though he wouldn’t dare say) would rather me be able to do it and enjoy it. I do not like Abby gone for that long during the day. I believe school is at least two hours too long. Right now she is in the, over tired, I just started 1st grade, stage. The first day of school out here she came home and fell right asleep!
Sometimes I allow that mom guilt to take over and eat at me. Then other times I tell myself these things. They are even happier now, they are making so many friends, they are learning from many adults. Also they are having bad days at school which teach them things. They are having great days of school that boost their confidence and make them beam. They adore almost everything about school, it suits them. Then of course the mom guilt comes back and eats at me because…why couldn’t *I* give them that?
So as we travel from place to place, and when we settle down in a few years. My girlies will be in school, I am not a homeschool mama. I do feel as though a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I did not cry when I sent them off to school, I only felt relief. Now I am learning how to balance things in a different way. How to connect with them after a long day, how to still have my house be a home of learning, how to still have loads of family time. (Like so many of you moms do so well that have kids that go to school)
Costa Rica has taught me many things about myself, my family, my girls, and our life. I feel so blessed that we got to have this “time out”. To re-evaluate our lives, what direction we wanted to go, fix relationships, tweak relationships. It has been heaven sent and I think Him everyday.
I will be sure to tell you what it is like to attend school out here and share some pictures. Not to worry grandmas!