Depression by Vanessa

May 10th, 2010 in About Me

*This was originally posted on but we are taking it down but I wanted to save it!

Throughout different times of my life I have suffered, dealt with, overcame, barley been able to function or lost different battles with depression. After loved ones have passed away, stressful times have come, as a side effect of health conditions and quite severe depression as a teenager but thankfully never postpartum depression! (At least I escaped that one!) The severity has been from quite severe as a teen to just going through times where I feel just a bit off as an adult. Different levels of severity called for different treatments in my life from trying medication (that never worked for me, but everyone is different) to meeting with church leaders to serving others to giving myself a good kick in the butt.

Sadly those of us that have suffered with depression of any degree know that it is very hard on us but once we come out of the fog or even breaks during the fog we see what it does to the ones around us. The extra gray hairs you gave your parents, the way you hurt a siblings feelings, noticing that your spouse has gone neglected, being zoombie like with your children. It hurts, it hurts for everyone involved. Which is why it needs to be taken care of, if we need to gather all of our strength to get it done or we need to reach out for help fast.

Depression comes from many triggers like grief, abuse, conflict, transition, dissapointment, etc. It can be just a certain person’s “life trail” that they deal with throughout their life, which I think mine is. Depression can be intensified by things as serve as unsupportive family members to a lack of sunlight. There are many triggers, ways to intesnsify or treat depression, too many to list.

Depression is a pivotal time where you either decide to become closer to God and work with him to help you through this or a time where you turn away and become even more alone. No matter if you need to see a therapist, take medication or something as simple as changing your diet and exercise routine most importantly God is what you need to turn to.

Ezra Taft Benson said, “We live in an age when, as the Lord foretold, men’s hearts are failing them, not only physically but in spirit. (see D&C 45:26). Many are giving up heart for the battle of life. Suicide ranks as a major cause of death among college students. As the showdown between good and evil approaches, with its accompanying trials and desolations, Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, despondency, discouragement, and depression.”

My sweet Grandmother on my Mom’s side suffered with severe depression throughout her life was and still IS, right after God, the one that I knew I could go to to help me. She told me of the power of song, staying very close to God, to run run as fast as you can from anything to do with Satan and to be very careful what media you let influence you. She let me cry to her when I was in a very dark and lonely place, sing with her on the back step and just let me know that even without anything being said SHE KNEW.

A couple of years ago I had a family member who was in stage four of cancer and was in an intense amount of pain. This person had to lie very still for an MRI which increased their level of pain to a point that I hope I never comprehend. Prayer is what helped them to get through this very important scan and when they could not lie still any longer and think of anything else to plead to the Lord they were told…


What a beautiful lesson that in this person’s darkest hour they were told to serve others. To think of others, to pray for them to be able to endure.

Staying close to God and serving others are the  two most important things for ME that have helped me out of my darkest times with depression. Every single person that battles with depression is different all I know is ask for help from those that love you. Most importantly your older brother Jesus and Heavenly Father that love you and KNOW what you are going through. They know your name, they know your heart and they know how to help you and be there for you.

Let them.

If you have someone in your life or it is yourself that needs immediate help with thoughts of suicide please reach out for help fast. Your insurance carrier will put you in contact with someone to help you if you just call the number on the back of the card. Call a member of your church clergy. Reach out to a family member you trust. Or call the National Sucidie Prevention Line.

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