California Fixed Me.
I could have stayed in California for a couple more weeks and not felt a bit homesick or even have felt the itch to get back to things.
We went out to visit Tyler’s family and I needed it.
I still am learning how to visit the “in-laws,” meaning still learning how to be sensitive to my husband while we are there: to not over worry about what he says and does, to just relax, etc. etc. etc. I feel like in about two more trips I’ll have it down pat. Or maybe three…or four…or eighteen.
But I arrived in California feeling a bit down about family. I want to be very sensitive in saying this but also want to be able to say it. Being the oldest in my family and being the only one with children or married for years and years has been hard. Of course, it also has it perks. But I just have been having a hard time with it more than normal for some reason.
I arrived in California burnt out from always being the one to invite…always the one to take care of others…always the one to reach out…always the one trying to be pro-active with getting together…always the one trying to keep in touch. Basically, you know, FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. What can I say? It’s a problem I have and after-baby hormones don’t help too much with it.
And when I left California I was reminded of why I do it. Because I love the feeling of being all together. I love the feeling that comes when nieces are playing with nieces, when I’m listening to my husband tease his nephew, when we’re telling funny stories as adults and giggling like we are grade school kids. How meals cooked by Mom and Dad taste really good, how family scripture study late at night makes you feel really warm inside. How uncles and aunts and grandparents see you and couldn’t be more excited to hear all about what you have been up to.
I also remember why I fell in love with my husband. Because of the way he smiled at his mama, the way he played with his nieces and nephews and the way he made his grandma laugh.
California was very good for me.
Thanks for having us, Mom and Dad.