A Mother’s Book of Secrets Discussion Part 1 of 5

Like I said we are meeting here every Monday to discuss the book A Mother’s Book of Secrets by Linda Eyre & Shawni Eyre Pothier. Because I was in real need of a “Mothering Pick Me Up” and this is already helping me out quite a bit.

You really don’t have to be reading the book along with us to participate in the conversation, I am sure these are points that you already know tons about as a mother. So please join on in. I will start off with some of the points that stood out to me, quotes I loved, things I need to work on, and goals I have made.

Section 1 Key Points: This section to me was helping me to answer the question of how can I “live in the trenches” or in the moments of motherhood in a way that I can survive, that I can enjoy, that I can look back on and be proud of myself, and that can help me raise some pretty great kiddos. I loved how the book actually helped me write a list of applicable things, that it didn’t just have a nice thought, that it helped you know what you can actually *DO* to accomplish this. And some of these I just thought of myself while reading the section, so no not all of these were in the book.

• Sit down and PLAY! Stop with your to do list and get on the floor and play legos, do the puzzle, have a pillow fight. Whatever your kids want to play take time to sit down with them and play. I have little kids so all my examples relate to that age.
• Stay HOME! I wish I could find who originally said this but I read somewhere a few weeks ago that one of the “secrets” to spending less money, spending more time with the kids, having a more balanced home life is to…STAY HOME. Now that doesn’t mean you need to be a stay at home mom or anything. I mean just to stop having so many errands, places to go (because we all know if we are being honest some of them are un-needed) and stay home. If that is after work, or if you are a stay at home mom, just to be careful with the time you spend on errands.
• Keeping Little Promises. If I tell Abby, “I am busy with dinner right now, but I can read you a book right before bed.” then I need to keep that promise. Or if I tell Cameron that, “Mom will play that game with you later!” to actually pull out the game and play it, even if she forgets. Some days are crazy and things happen—but a lot of the days, I know I can keep the little promises.
• LOOK. Watch them play, play with them, talk to them, listen to them when they talk and LOOK at them. Look into their eyes and see their excitement, watch their reactions, and it will make you fall in love with them even more every day.
• I enjoyed when Linda (the grandmother/mother in the book) said this, “…some days “motherhood is like being pecked to death by a duck” (an anonymous quote my sister has hanging in her hall), but the secret is that eventually your efforts will start to count. Sooner than you can realize now, you’ll be watching your children having children and will be amazed at how much better they are than you were and that somewhere, somehow, you must have done something good!” The duck part made me laugh and the realizing your efforts are going to count made me tear up!
• Imagination. Find your own way to be imaginative and fun with your kiddos, my husband has had to learn this! I can sit down and think out this whole pet shoppe plan, play for a long time, the kids are so into it. My husband looks at me and cannot comprehend how I can do that. But you know what he can do? Tell the best stories, have the best pillow fights, make the COOLEST secret dens with all the pillow and blankets in the house. Find your own way.
• Refiners Fire. I think I should read this section every week to myself, that right now I am in the refiners fire, hopefully I come out looking pretty great. Someone explain her point better than I did with this!
• Everyday Moments. They are beautiful, they are what make up our lives, they are so important. Cherish them and realize they are what make up your life.
• 3 Things on Your To Do List. She suggests since some days your to do lists don’t get done because life happens…to on your planner put three things up on the top. #1 What you can do for yourself that day (even if it is only 5 minutes), #2 What you can do for someone in your family that day #3 What you can do for someone out in the world today. I like that, that would help me feel connected to myself and the world out there!
• Enough is Enough. Don’t jam pack the schedule, be careful with what you sign your kids up for and realize they need unstructured play time.
• Family Prayer. Your children will find security in this time together, even if they are whining about it some days, they will think back to it and it will bring feelings of security and warmth.
• PRAY ALL DAY LONG!! As the Mom to God…pray all day long!

Goals:

• Keep little promises to the girls, keep cell phone downstairs more so I interact better when I am playing with them, and start doing the 3 things at the top of my to do list. Also to watch myself this summer, to not plan too many things and over schedule.

What about you what points stood out to you? What quotes did you love? What new goals do you have? Etc?

P.S. See you next Monday to discuss Part 2 of 5!

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