A Mother’s Book of Secrets Discussion Part 4 of 5

May 28th, 2012 in About Me, Parenting Tips, Learning

Like I said we are meeting here every Monday to discuss the book A Mother’s Book of Secrets by Linda Eyre & Shawni Eyre Pothier. Because I was in real need of a “Mothering Pick Me Up” and this is already helping me out quite a bit.

You really don’t have to be reading the book along with us to participate in the conversation, I am sure these are points that you already know tons about as a mother. So please join on in. I will start off with some of the points that stood out to me, quotes I loved, things I need to work on, and goals I have made.

Section 4 Key Points:

“As far as I’m concerned, one of the silliest bits of “wisdom” ever imparted to parents goes like this: “Children are like lumps of clay, and parents are the sculptors.” This leads parents to believe that with the proper time and influence children can be shaped into whatever parents would like them to be. So not true! I’d rather think of children as seedlings. Even though tiny seedlings look very similar as they sprout, in the end they will become who they are. Some will produce flowers–sunflowers, delphiniums, or snapdragons. Some will produce fruits—apples, oranges, and yes, even lemons. But they are who they are. A sunflower can’t be changed to an apple no mater how hard you try! The secret to how well each little seedling grows to become it’s best self depends on the gardener giving the appropriate light, water, fertilizer, and love.”
“The secret is to be thankful for our own version of “real life,” whatever it may be, and to realize that we’re learning through the ups and downs. Some of us will breeze through motherhood (maybe those Library Moms!), and some of us will deal with tremendous heartbreak. some days we’ll want to give up, and other days our hearts will soar with joy over reaching a new mile-stone. If we remember to be thankful fo the good and the bad, our journey will be that much more rewarding in the long run.”
*I* am my child’s expert.
Each child needs individualized tactics.
“We are mothers. We love our children desperately. Thus, we’re the experts who can put our children’s puzzles together. And most of the time we need to go with our guts, because most of the time we’re right. We’ve got mother intuition. And that makes us the experts.”
Let your “loves” rub off on your children. It’s one of the reasons they are in your family, it is a way you can develop your passions along with them, and that you can bond with your children.
Tell them about your history and their family history. Story-tell!
Give your kids, YOUR TIME.
Dad interviews. I love the way the Dad did them in the book, the questions he asked, the things he would tell them. Just loved it.
Figure out how to give them your time within “everyday chaos” have some of it planned out!
“The more time we give our kids, the more we understand them. the more we see them as individuals, the better mothers we can be.”

Goals: This section made me realize that I have clumped Abby & Cameron into one person. With them being so close in age, I do not treat them as individuals enough and I have not tried to figure out their “puzzles.” I just got overwhelmed with having two babies and unknowingly decided to parent them the same, do the same activities with them, talk to them the same, discipline them the same, etc. I need to sit down for awhile and figure this out, since now they are older. And figure out how to not do this with the second set of babies I will soon have. Also, I need to be careful with all of this parenting advice thrown at me, sometimes by loved ones even. *I* am the Mama, no one knows their kids like I do. Same with their Daddy, their Daddy knows them like no one else too. Have more confidence in myself and in Tyler. Ask him about doing Dad interviews on fast sunday.