I have kept up on more of our travel logs and things going on in the kids lives. But I haven’t done an “update” post in awhile. People constantly are asking me how I really like it, how it really is going, so here you go:
146, I have lived in Costa Rica for 146 days. I honestly am glad everyday that we did this. On days where I feel horribly homesick, on days when my kids are really being horrid, and on days when I am complaining about everything under the sun. I have never thought or said that I wish we hadn’t come here. I recently had two people email me and said things that I knew were said with love. But I also feel like I need to make things clear. They were, “It must have taken a lot of courage to move there” and “What a wonderful sacrifice you gave for your family to have these experiences.” Listen folks, it isn’t a hard life here. It is a wonderful life here, it took no sacrifice or real courage to say, “YES! Lets go live on the beach in an Americanized town of Costa Rica!” Sure there are hard things that I have had to do or deal with; but overall, boy am I a lucky lady.
These 146 days for me in Costa Rica have shown myself, ME. Which sometimes I have not liked to see. I have some pretty judgemental sides to me, that thankfully I have been chipping off of myself. With the slower pace of life and different world around me it is easy to really see ME. I see myself very clearly and sometimes it can be very enlightening and frightening. So a lot of personal improvement and being aware of some issues I need to fix have been going on. Once and awhile I do not like this, I want to pull back the cover I had over my eyes and stop working on things. But most of the times I realize living here has helped me fix myself up a bit. Hopefully more than a bit after even more time.
These 146 days have taught us a thing or two about living abroad. Wherever we go next; to Europe, back to Utah, to South America, or just here in Costa Rica longer. It has taught us things that will help us adjust to the next new country faster and more efficient. Tyler and I sometimes feel defeated on bad days but hopeful on the other days. The girls just have taken longer to adjust then we had anticipated. New problems arise when you are around each other a lot more in this relaxed atmosphere. Homeschooling is beautiful but sometimes hard for us. We still have a lot more to learn on how to adjust to a new country better. One day I hope to share everything we have learned. For now, we are still in the learning curve, I am thinking the end of the curve. But don’t you worry these girls are having a ball a lot of the time in this learning curve of ours.
These 146 days have been wonderful for our marriage. Clear, living here makes everything so clear. Tyler and I have really grown as a couple and grown a lot closer. I will always thank Costa Rica for this.
These 146 days in Costa Rica has saved me with having this fourth little girl of mine. It has been very tough for me and it continues some days to be. If we had not moved here, if I had not had my husband here to help me everyday with things. If I had been as go-go-go-go as I had been back in Utah. I do not know where I would be. I don’t like to think about it. When I was moving right after having Reagan I was thinking to myself WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. Why did you decide to do this to yourself and your family RIGHT NOW? But it has turned out to be such an enormously good decision on our part.
These 146 days have had a couple days of homesickness. One day I left the house with all the kids and pretended I was in America. I drove us all one town over to buy a soda, Milano cookies, Goldfish crackers, and candy bars. Then I sat in the AC car and read a book while we stuffed our faces with this junk. I proceeded to go to the only store I knew of that sold clothes I would actually buy back in America. And I bought Cameron, Abby, and myself a new outfit. We are on a tight budget here so this was a splurge I will not and cannot repeat. But boy did it feel good. Also watching my sister have a baby so far away from me was not a nice feeling. I really miss my nieces back in Utah. I do not like watching everyone grow older on Facebook or through blogs. It is not a feeling I enjoy.
These 146 days in Costa Rica have had some days of heartbreak for others. I have seen some things that have broken my mother heart in two. Where I just want to scream out loud, “WHO IS WATCHING EVERYONE DOWN HERE? WHY IS NO ONE TAKING CARE OF THEM? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?” My mother’s heart has broken a handful of times out here. But after it breaks it heals and becomes stronger.
These 146 days in Costa Rica has strengthened my testimony in many different ways. It has taught me what kind of church member I need to be from now on. It has taught me how we treat our sisters and brothers. It has taught me how living the gospel will change your life in every way. It has taught me to not be so judgemental, it has taught me to be thankful, it has taught me to have more love.
These 146 days in Costa Rica have been life changing. If I had to leave today I would not leave feeling like I didn’t experience all that I needed to. But I also know I hope to stay quite a bit longer. When I think about the day that I leave this place I start to cry. It will be a very hard day for me.
This beautiful place will always be a part of who I am.